Fly boy

As something of a joke, I usually leave my cell phone number on my receipt whenever I go out to eat (assuming we're being served by a waitress), and usually, the waitress never calls/texts/whatevers. Tonight, I was reminded why I usually only go after (some) Mormon girls.

I left my number on the receipt as usual when we went to 54th Street tonight, and about 5 minutes after I left, our somewhat-lousy waitress texted me saying "Hey fly boy". Two texts later, she tells me I'm "pretty hot." If that's not a dead giveaway that this is a joke on both ends, I don't know what is. But I'm in the mood for a laugh, so I play along. I ask her where she's from, how old she is, and when she gets a night off. She says "Tomorrow. Im a freak to let you kno". I ask her to define "freak," and she tells me she likes to "have ___ and ____ ____." You're creative enough; you can fill in those blanks. And even if you're wrong, you're probably still on the right track (hint: it's not "have scriptures and read them").

A girl who slacked off on refills, then took her sweet time bringing us our tickets, is willing to tell (or at least joke with) a random guy about her extracurricular escapades over the course of 39 minutes. I kept the joke going (my response was "Hey, me too!"), but from a bit more serious perspective, it's kinda sad that a girl would be willing to give herself away like that.

What happened? I mean, like, what happened in the world where people find things like that completely acceptable? I know my opinion on this subject sticks out like Conan O'Brien in the Million Man March, but still, I wish I knew why girls feel like stuff like this appeals to guys, and why guys find it appealing. I wish interactions between men and women consisted of something more than trying to break the world record for getting into each others' pants the fastest.

I was gonna ask out that waitress for real. I haven't been on a date in probably a year and a half, and even if it wasn't gonna go anywhere, it would've been nice to just go on a date. But I'm not desperate enough to lower my standards, so it looks like I'll be hanging on to my dignity, my V card, and my key to the Nerdburgring (i.e. my room) for a while longer.